Fighting Shadows
by sydrians
Summary: Another one of those abhorred Shadow Kiss alternate versions, I know what you're thinking. But, whatever, this is  cooler . Involves alcohol, angst and kisses.


**People write these ALL THE TIME, I know. But who cares? I felt like it :D**  
**Okay, I have to say that Richelle Mead wrote the first section of this :P And that means *drum roll* DISCLAIMER :D**

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We ran to the exit, emerging into the air. My group clustered by the opening, anxious to see what happened. The sun, I was dismayed to see, was nearly gone. The nausea hadn't left me, which meant Strigoi were still alive.  
Moments later, my mother's party came tearing down the hall. By the numbers, one more had gone down. But they were so close. Everyone around me tensed up. So close. So, so close.

But not close enough. Three Strigoi lay in wait in one of the alcoves. We'd passed them, but they let us go by. It all happened so fast; no one could have reacted in time. One of the Strigoi grabbed Celeste, his mouth and fangs going for her cheek. I heard a strangled scream and saw blood everywhere. One of the Strigoi went for Ms. Carmack, but my mother jerked her away and shoved her forward toward us. The third Strigoi grabbed Dimitri. In all the time I'd known him, I'd never seen Dimitri falter. He was always faster, always stronger than everyone else. Not this time. This Strigoi had caught him by surprise, and that slight edge was all it had taken.

I stared. It was the blond Strigoi. The one who had spoken to me in the battle.

He grabbed Dimitri and pulled him to the ground. They grappled, strength against strength, and then I saw those fangs sink into Dimitri's neck. The red eyes flicked up and make contact with my own.  
I heard another scream – this time it was my own.

More Strigoi appeared and blocked out my view of the hall. My mother began to fall back and retreat.

"No!" I screamed, charging back into the battle, panicking. I couldn't leave him!

"_Rose_! We have to run!" I heard several guardians demand behind me, tugging at my shirt. I couldn't listen anymore. I felt an extraordinary sensation within my body as I ripped myself from their grip and my feet tore back to the caves, where my other half lay. I shook with adrenaline and fear. What if I was too late? I couldn't think about it. And I didn't want it to be a possibility. My senses pricked and I heard footsteps behind me. Whipping my stake from my belt, I felt the darkness completely engulf me, and I obtained no more control. Strigoi fell to the floor around me at a furious speed, and I eventually broke through their barriers. The sight evidently bewildered me.

They all crouched around Dimitri's weak body, growling, laughing, or just rasping. The Strigoi had drunk from him, though not enough to kill. He was preparing to turn him, I realized. And my God, I was _mad_. Almost literally. My vision blurred again, and I felt a deep snarl escape my lips. And then suddenly, figures appeared before me, and they looked just as angry and haunted as I.

"Rose!" I heard people scream, still breathlessly staking Strigoi. "What's happening?" I didn't listen. I didn't shriek at the sight of these ghosts. My eyes didn't bulge as they circled the blond Strigoi. My legs didn't move as he cowered back from his dominant place above Dimitri. I didn't fight as the other Strigoi were attacked. The guardians questions weren't answered. But my senses kicked in again, and I began to lash out on the last remaining Strigoi in the area. I staked every last one, my screams, cries and curses loud in the quiet cave.

And as I reached the blonde one, the last, I held the stake above his heart and muttered humorously before plunging the weapon forcefully into his body:

"_No one_ messes with _my_ man." And then I actually remembered my man, who was now sitting up, braced against the wall. He was completely drugged; taken over by endorphins. A small smile lit up his features, but his eyes were utterly out of the world. Kneeling down in front of him, I took his hand.

"We have to go _right now_, Rose," I heard my mother command. "Sundown is in five minutes. We'll never make it back in time, so we'll have to risk it."

"As long as he's safe, I don't care." Something sparked her eyes, and they narrowed, but she ignored my comment, and helped me get Dimitri off the ground. And we ran. It took longer than we would have liked, but Dimitri was heavy, especially after a lethal battle. He didn't contribute much effort, either. But we made it back safely. No Strigoi, nothing. After breaking through the Academy, I sighed in relief, panting.

"Med…clinic…" I gasped, turning around with my mother and giving one last respectful nod to the other guardians. In my head, I heard Lissa's frantic shouts for me, and I felt bad for not rushing to her side. But I knew she was okay, and Dimitri's health was in my hands now. He wasn't doing too well. We submerged into the doors of the clinic, and it was total chaos, but we'd thankfully acquired Dimitri a room.

"Rose," my mother started, as I turned away from the doctors jabbing needles into Dimitri's skin. "What you did was so, so stupid."

"I know. But I just...I have no idea what came over me. But it's all over, and I'm glad it is."

"So am I. But Rose, why? You didn't have to go back. Why would you risk your life like that? So many others had died out there."

"And I didn't want Dimitri to be one of them. They were going to turn him, Mom."

She sighed, taking my dirty hands in her own, different Strigoi blood smearing together. "Would you have done that for any other guardians?"

"No, probably not." I sagged in defeat; she'd gotten me.

"Do you love him?" Janine asked quietly, her hands tightening on mine. Small tears kissed my eyes as I nodded, refusing to look at her.

And she hugged me. We held onto each other as if it were out last day. And it had almost been. I guess my own mother needed some comfort after this, too.

"I don't know what to do with you. I have to clean up and sort out some things. Take care, Rose." She kissed my cheek and left. With one last wistful glance back at Dimitri, lying there on the bed, his skin so pale and lifeless, I sucked in more tears as I limped back to my dorm.

Showering for the longest time in my life, I attempted to wash away the reminiscence of the battle to no avail. The Strigoi, the blood, the dead bodies, the _ghosts_. It was all pushing me down in deep, forceful waves; haunting my soul.

I stopped in at the church for a little while, actually praying to the God I never really believed in. And at that moment, I wanted to have faith in _someone_ above my head that I could blame everything on, and believe that He would make it all right again someday after all that I'd suffered. But I didn't. And I didn't know who to blame. Myself, for living this life? Lissa, for her Spirit driving me literally crazy? My mother, for not being there? Even Dimitri, for being weak and causing me the extra heartache and physical exhaustion?

It all wasn't rational. Really, I loved the life I lived, Lissa hadn't driven me crazy, it was really a significant help me in the battle, my mother's absence built me to be the person I was, and Dimitri hadn't been weak at all. He was the strongest person I knew. Emotionally _and_ physically. After being _so _close to losing him, I had realized: I could never live a life he wasn't in. He was so wrong for me, yet so perfect. I loved him, and that's all that mattered.

After slipping into some staff rooms, and extra alcohol stashes, I packed a little bag with my supplies, and ushered myself into Dimitri's room, pushing the flimsy curtain back to enter. I tiptoed to a plush chair beside him and settled into it.  
Dimitri definitely looked better than what he did three hours ago. His skin held a faint trace of colour, and his breathing wasn't as shallow. Observing my lover as he slept in peace made me particularly drowsy, but I couldn't afford to close my eyes. I didn't want to see the images again. I'd suffered enough. I produced a small flask of straight vodka from my backpack and took a few swigs, touching my throat as it heated up like a tin roof in the desert.

"Rose?" a small voice asked as I shoved the alcohol back into the bag. My head lolled around and rested on the bed behind me, and my eyes caught sight of Lissa peeping through the entryway.

"Hey, Liss," I whispered, my voice rough. I cleared it softly. She moved in slowly, and gazed at Dimitri sympathetically before turning her attention to me.

"I'm so sorry."

"For what?" I asked, frowning.

"For all of this. You know, if I wasn't the last Dragomir, the Strigoi would never have attacked. It's my fault."

"Lissa!" I chastised, shakily rising from my slouch. I took her in my embrace and held her to me, listening to her deep, reassuring breaths. "You're not the reason. And I'm okay, aren't I? I'm alright, Lissa."

"But so many other guardians died!"

"Because they were _ready_. We all know that it's a part of our jobs. We're willing to do for the creatures we swore to protect."

She sighed, and shook her head. "But it isn't _fair_. I hate seeing Guardian Belikov in that bed. I feel guilty. I don't even know how I'll be able to bear seeing all of the dead bodies of the people who fought!"

"I'll be there," I promised her fiercely. "I won't leave your side, okay?"

"Okay," she breathed, leaning into me. She stole another glance at Dimitri, sighing. "It's horrible." I followed her gaze.

"I know."

"What happened to him?"

"Oh."

"What? Was it bad? Is he going to be okay?"

"No, he might be okay it's just – " my breath caught in my throat, and I sat down. "The Strigoi got him in the caves. They drank from him. I couldn't let them turn him. So…I went back in and fought them. He lost a lot of blood."

"You saved him?" she asked, her eyes moving up to mine, the wheels behind her head spinning out of control.

"Well, yeah. But I just couldn't let him be turned!" She ignored me.

"You risked _your_ life for your mentor?"

"Yes, I did." My expression must have given away everything I had been feeling over the previous few days, because realization abruptly dawned on Lissa's features, and she gasped.

"Oh, _Rose_!" she murmured, pulling me into her arms again. "I never even thought…" My face pressed into her hair.

"You're not mad?"

"Why would I be mad, Rose? You're in love!" She laughed quietly, and I still couldn't bring myself to even smile for her. My mouth must have been carved into a permanent grimace.

After rejoicing with me for a few minutes, still beaming, Lissa wished me good luck, and we made plans to meet in 12 hours to watch the fallen guardians be carried past. Something I wasn't looking forward to. I didn't ever want to be reminded of the chaotic bloodshed and screams of the battles. I didn't want to observe my dead friends before my eyes.

Resting my aching head against the soft cushion of the bed again, I took a swig of more vodka, and felt silent tears fall from my face and sink into the sheets as I did so. I was completely exhausted. In every way possible. But to my dismay, I soon felt my eyes close, and I couldn't build the strength to open them. I fell to sleep.

.

I'd had intense nightmares, of course. It was as intense as it got. My dreams were all about the battle, sometimes reminiscing, other times creating my own fictional scenarios. It all felt so real, as if I were experiencing it again.

I woke up in a flash, the vibrant colours and heightened vision of my imagination vanishing in a second, and the bland walls of the med-clinic surrounding me. I bit against my fist to constrict the screams that were rapidly rising up my throat. I didn't want to wake Dimitri. Tears sprung from my eyes as I shook my head to relinquish the thoughts. Reaching for my bag, I tugged out the vodka and downed a few gulps, before stealing a swig of a better tasting strawberry drink. My head spun for a moment.

"I told you not to drink," a low voice said beside me. Stopping with the pink bottle in my shaking hand, my eyes moved toward the sound. And there, sitting there was Dimitri, smiling down at me. I almost dropped the bottle.

"Oh my God!" I murmured, my eyes watering. I was crying too much lately. I felt vulnerable. I placed the bottle in my bag hastily, and returned to Dimitri. Quickly checking the time, I saw that I needed to go in an hour. I'd slept for more than ten hours, which was a first for me. "How are you feeling? Are you okay? Do you need me to get the doctor?"

"Shh, Rose. I'm alright. But I have a question."

"Anything! Ask me anything!"

"What happened?"

"Oh." He didn't remember. Of course he didn't, I realized. He was high on the Strigoi endorphin. "Well, we were all in the caves, and a Strigoi got you. He bit you, and you lost a _lot_ of blood."

He glared. "What happened to them?"

"We, uh, killed them."

"But I remember that there were _a lot_. Too many."

"There was."

"Oh, Roza," he sighed. "Thank you."

"I would do anything for you," I murmured, taking his hand, my tears still spilling soundlessly. Shuffling over a little, Dimitri let me sit beside him on the bed. "How are you feeling?"

"I told you, Rose. I'm fine."

"And you say this while you're currently connected to needles and tubes everywhere."

"I don't need them."

"Don't you _dare_ and take them out." He shook his head and stared at me. I couldn't break our gazes; my eyes were too busy melting in his own. Even in no shirt and a pair of jeans, while battered and bruised, Dimitri was still just as gorgeous as ever. I wonder if he thought the same about me. But all coherent thoughts had diminished as we both began to inch toward each other. My hands gently found his jaw and our lips connected. Something blasted within me, and I turned my body close to Dimitri's. The kiss was made of pure love. Nothing in between. I felt him smile beneath my lips, and I pulled back, returning it, before crashing our mouths together again. I heard someone clear their throat softly. It was Lissa.

"Rose, we need to, uh, go." I looked at my watch.

"It's early."

"Yeah, the sun rose earlier than we thought."

"I'll be there in a sec." As she stepped back, my head turned to Dimitri. "I love you."

"I love you, too, Roza." He abruptly pulled me toward him again, and kissed me softly, before letting me go.

"Get some rest. Anything," I pleaded, grabbing my bags and leaving.

"Take that alcohol away, too, Rose." Lissa gave me an frustrated glance as we left.

"I thought you stopped drinking."

"I did, but I needed to numb…_everything._"

"You know, after watching, you and Dimitri don't seem to look odd together. I can't believe I never took any notice."

"Thanks, Lissa. Oh, I think they're coming in now." I pointed gloomily to the gates where many stood under the uncomfortable sunlight.

And we watched, one by one as they went past. I knew so many of them; it was horrible to see. But I stayed strong for Lissa. I wanted her to feel protected and reassured that she would never be a victim. She held onto my hand as the last filed through on stretchers. I looked around, and everyone wore grim faces. Most were weeping, including Lissa.

People began to disperse quietly as the stretchers disappeared, murmuring to their companions and colleagues.

"Come on, Lissa, the sun's too bright for you." She sniffed and followed me to her dorm. I stayed with her for a while, talking about the fight, cleaning a few of my wounds and consoling her before leaving to accompany Dimitri. I didn't want him alone in there. I hated it myself, and I didn't want him to suffer how I did for many, many times in my young life.

"Dimitri?" I whispered. I didn't get a response. Either he was too lazy to answer, or just resting like I'd ordered him to. There was still my spot beside him that I could curl into. I hopped onto the hospital bed and lay down beside Dimitri, breathing in his almost unfamiliar scent. It was hidden under the smell of blood and medicine. It wasn't too long before I felt his arms snake around me. I smiled in content and buried my face into his shoulder.

"How was it?" he asked me. I almost forgot what he was taking about, just lying there in his arms.

"Sad."

"I wish I could have been there."

"I'm just glad you weren't_ one_ of them. I don't know what I would do when you're not there. Who knows? I might have become a drug addict, adopt a cult or something."

He sighed, and shook his head, his gorgeous hair falling around his face. I noticed that there weren't as many needles stuck to him, just one in the middle of his arm. Much better. Turning on his side, he propped himself up on his elbow and gazed at me, his features solemn.

"Thank you, Roza."

"Really, it's no problem. I mean, that's what I was trained for, right?"

"Right. But you didn't have to protect me. You're not supposed to."

"You say that after you've already broken laws much worse. I'll do whatever I want, anyway. I like to fight the system."

"I know."

"And I'm glad I didn't. I don't regret anything. I just keep thinking about if I didn't get there in time, what would've happened…"

"But nothing _did_ happen. Just forget about it."

I groaned. "I need a drink. Please?"

"No," he said firmly, already exasperated. I pouted.

"It's all too much." I plopped back beside him and closed my eyes. Dimitri kissed me, then, something I didn't anticipate – though I should have. He hovered over me, mindful of that one damn tube, his lips melting with my own. I'd kissed him a little already today, but now it was just different. My senses were heightened; I felt _everything_. My hand held his upper arm as his gripped the bottom of my sweatshirt, our breathing both surprisingly leveled.

"I love you," I muttered mid-kiss. He chuckled, and moved his lips to my jaw in response, mumbling something incoherent and probably Russian. My fingers still gripped his arm, maybe even a little too hard, and my stomach lurched with excitement as I felt his mouth come into contact with my collarbone.

"You know," I murmured slowly, taking deep breaths. "It would be pretty hot if – "

"I don't think I want to hear it."

"Oh, you'd want to, just not in public, that's all." He smiled exasperatedly and leaned away from me, his cheeks filling up with colour. We talked about when he would leave this place, and the whole business with the Strigoi; where they could be, what they were planning, how many there were, anything we could do to stop it, intensifying wards, transferring people to Court early, and just everything. Clarifying everything just between us took a long while, and by the time the conversation had ceased – though with many questions left unsaid – many visitors had retreated to their dorms for the night, and the flurry in the hospital had died down significantly. It was just quiet. Quiet enough that we heard Dr Olendski's footsteps approach us from four doors down.

"Guardian Belikov? Ah. Oh, and Rose. What a site; you're not in the bed!"

"Technically, I am." I gestured to myself sitting dangerously close to Dimitri on the horrible hospital bed. To my surprise, she laughed.

"I'm glad. I hardly lasted out there today, and if I added you into the equation, I don't know what I would have done." At that one, Dimitri hid a small smile that I still detected through his thick, brown eyes. I almost laughed myself. She was right, I probably would have tore up anyone in reaching distance.

"But, Rose, I'm afraid you have to leave for the night. You can come back early in the morning, but rules are rules."

"Rules are just words," I grumbled, still rising to collect my belongings. With a small smile, I left Dimitri's room, and headed for my own.

Dimitri was going to be okay. Everything was.

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**Viola! I don't know whether to leave it there or not. _Maybe_ another chapter. I'll see how many people are looking at it. Don't want a lost cause, now do we? **


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